Hex the NRA: A New Spell for the #MagicResistance
On Valentine’s Day, 17 schoolchildren were mowed down and over a dozen others were injured by a 19-year-old with an AR-15.
Earlier that day, the NRA retweeted this:
Something is seriously wrong with this country.
As Tim Dickinson details in his Rolling Stone article from 2016 (How the NRA Paved the Way for Mass Shootings), the National Rifle Association’s unholy legion of lobbyists are responsible for the surreal state of affairs in which mass shootings have become a normal part of American life.
The NRA fought for Florida’s permissive gun laws, earning it the nickname “the Gunshine State.” Governor Rick Scott earned an A+ rating from the NRA for opposing universal background checks, and the organization spent $2 million to ensure Scott’s re-election. And while the state mandates a three-day waiting period for handgun purchases, there is no such restriction for assault rifles.
Florida Senator Marco Rubio, who also received an A+ rating, received $90,205 of NRA blood money in the 2015–2016 campaign year and over $3 million in his career.
The biggest beneficiary of all? Donald Trump, to the tune of tens of millions of dollars spent on the 2016 presidential campaign. Surprise, surprise. Perhaps that’s why he said, “I am going to come through for you” when he addressed their conference in Atlanta in April of 2017. And why he rolled back a safety measure aimed at preventing severely mentally ill Americans from buying guns.
And now the FBI has launched an investigation into Russian bankers accused of funneling money through the NRA to help elect Trump.
Let’s be honest, shall we? As a supporter of the right to own firearms, I have no issue with citizens owning guns for hunting, home defense, or sport shooting. But the NRA is not the champion of gun owners—it is the marketing wing of the gun manufacturer industry, and those gun makers are increasingly dependent upon sales of assault-styled weapons like the one that killed those 17 Florida children and so many others before them.
The NRA is not a patriotic defender of hunters and sportsmen, but a profit-driven, mercenary cult fueled by sales of increasingly lethal weapons designed not for hunting, but for the mass killing human beings. They oppose any and all gun safety regulations, including common-sense measures—like background checks—that the majority of their members support. And they suppress scientific research into gun violence by public health organizations—because they know the truth would appall all decent Americans.
They’ve stoked paranoia about the government coming for everyone’s guns (how’d that turn out?) and radicalized citizens against civic institutions. Lately, they’ve completely embraced far-Right politics, defending Trump and his cohorts against accusations of Russian election meddling, inciting violence against nonviolent activists, and portraying the news media, as Trump has called them, as the “enemy of the people” in slick propaganda videos.
I’ve fucking had enough.
I’m averse to cursing and hexxing, as I believe magic is a tool for healing and creating positive change. But I’m also averse to watching the needless slaughter of innocent children because the NRA has bought our government with its piles of industry money and spends millions to silence all opposition. Hexes and curses are a magician or witch’s last resort, when you’ve tried everything else and bad shit keeps happening.
I’m not willing to watch the NRA take one more life.
Hex the NRA
Components:
- Black candle engraved with NRA (use a nail or pin)
- Printed image of an assault rifle (below)
- Printed image of an NRA logo (below)
- Dollar bill
- Red paint or red permanent marker
- Black permanent marker
- Lighter or matches
- Ashtray or flameproof container
- 3 wildflower seeds (from plants native to your region)
- Envelope and stamp
- Optional: graveyard dirt* (Graveyard dirt is a powerful substance. Only use graveyard dirt if you are familiar with the methods for obtaining it and utilizing it; if not, avoid it). Powdered mullein is a good substitute.
Preparation
- Take your red paint or red permanent marker and apply it to the dollar bill, covering the entire front. Make sure there is enough red paint or ink to render it invalid as legal tender. You’ll see why soon enough.
- Use your black marker to write across the bill, in bold lettering, NRA BLOOD MONEY.
3. On your printout of the NRA logo, write the following text from Psalm 37 across it, reading the words as you write them.
The wicked have drawn out the sword, and have bent their bow, to cast down the poor and needy, and to slay such as be of upright conversation.
Their sword shall enter into their own heart, and their bows shall be broken.
A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked.
For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the Lord upholdeth the righteous.
4. Assemble all the components on your altar. If you’re using the optional graveyard dirt, dress the engraved black candle with olive oil and roll it in the dirt. Place the candle atop the NRA logo, in the center over the eagle.
5. Say a prayer to God or your preferred deity(s) for the protection of innocent beings against violence, and ask for a blessing on yourself.
6. Light the black engraved candle.
7. Say the following, with as much emotion as you can:
I curse you
Merchants of mayhem,
Profiteers of pain,
Dealers of death,
You who fatten on the blood of innocents
And feast like demons on their corpses
May your thoughts and prayers
Turn to poison in your mouths
May every mother’s cry be a bullet to your heart
May the weeping of children rend your flesh like shrapnel
May the people turn against you
May they, too, curse your wickedness
May they melt your murderous machines
(Light the paper image of the gun from the candle and let it burn out in your ashtray or flameproof container)
May your blood money blister your hands
And your riches turn to ash
In the eternal fires of hell
So mote it be.
8. Blow out the black candle. Bury it somewhere far away from your home.
9. Plant the three wildflower seeds above the candle, saying a prayer for the protection of all innocents from gun violence.
10. If you’re feeling any negative residue from this working, take a salt bath, pray, and, if possible, spend some time playing with children.
Now comes the important part, where your hex is sent directly to its recipient.
- Fold the blood money dollar bill inside the inscribed NRA logo. You want to fold it so that it will fit inside a regular envelope.
- Put the folded package inside an envelope. A security (opaque) envelope is best.
- For the return address, use a fake address and the name of a victim of a mass shooting in place of your name.
- Address it to any of the following:
NRA Headquarters: 11250 Waples Mill Rd., Fairfax, VA 22030
You can address it directly to Wayne LaPierre or leave it blank.
Send it to your Congressional representative (if he or she is a recipient of NRA money) or use this handy chart to find the worst of the worst (courtesy of OpenSecrets.org):
Add a stamp and as you’re dropping it in the mailbox whisper a curse (“Fuck the NRA,” which I use, is short and succinct).
Another option: Send away for free NRA materials. Burn them while repeating the above spell, and return your red-painted dollar bill back in their reply envelope.
Followup
After doing any hex, it is always wise to take direct positive action to keep the scales balanced. I suggest donating to any of the following organizations:
Mom’s Demand Action for Gun Sense in America
The Coalition to Stop Gun Violence
Giffords Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence
Center for Gun Policy and Research
Finally, and most importantly:
VOTE THE NRA’S DEFENDERS OUT OF OFFICE.
Addendum
Thanks to some excellent feedback from the magical community, I’m adding some further thoughts:
- Graveyard dirt is a very powerful magical substance. In all traditions, it must be gathered appropriately (with permission from the spirit(s)) and paid for. So don’t just stop by your local cemetery and grab a handful of earth. Learn about its proper use or don’t use it.
- On defacing currency: While technically illegal, defacing or destroying money as a symbolic protest is extremely unlikely to result in prosecution. If the government comes after you for painting a dollar bill red, I suspect the resulting negative publicity would win you a very supportive lawyer. But as always, you make your decisions and accept the responsibility. I will happily paint my dollar bill red and write “NRA Blood Money” on it in front of the Treasury Secretary if it comes down to defending your right to do it.
- On legal complications of this protest mailing: If you’re wary of getting on some sort of enemies list, by all means, avoid this direct action and just do the spell itself. But I don’t believe there’s need to worry, unless you put your real name and address on the envelope, and even then, this is clearly a symbolic action, not an actual bloodied bill (and please, do not think about using actual blood, which could be seen as a biological hazard and could actually land you in the slammer. Don’t. Do. It). You have the right, as a citizen, to express your dissent symbolically, through writing and imagery, to your compromised representatives or to morally bankrupt organizations, as long as you are not threatening anyone or sending illegal substances.
- Finally: protest is not meant to be polite. Fuck the NRA and all those who abet them.
M. Hughes is a writer, speaker, magical thinker, and author of the upcoming Magic for the Resistance: Rituals and Spells for Change (Llewellyn Worldwide, September 8th, 2018, now available for preorder). The American Spectator said, “He may play footsie with the devil, but at least the man has a sense of humor.” You can sign up for his newsletter, check out his YouTube channel, and follow him on Twitter and Facebook. The official Bind Trump group is also on Facebook, so if you’re looking for a group to work some magic with, that’s where you’ll find them.
